Dogster's Top Ten "Weird" Holiday Presents for your Pooch

December 22, 2009
According to a recent survey, more than 80 percent of dog people will be giving their pooches presents this holiday season. Most will be presenting their dogs with treats and chew toys and other standard doggy fare. But what about dogs who like to think outside the box, or the dog who has everything? You’re in luck! We’ve sniffed long and hard for the most unique and/or oddball gifts for dogs. Get your favorite pooches any of these, and we can pretty much guarantee no other dogs on the block will have one. (And depending on the gift, the other dogs on the block may be very happy about this…)

Chicken-scented bubble dispenser – There’s nothing like chicken-scented bubbles floating around your house during the holidays to add to the festive mood — and sticky, smelly walls and floors. Dogs love chasing around the colorful bubbles (even if dogs are colorblind), and you get lots of exercise washing walls and mopping floors. (This one is probably best used outside, as it turns out.)
GPS collar – Humiliating beyond belief for dogs who are known for getting lost. Wearing a GPS collar is akin to your dog carrying a sign saying, “I have absolutely no sense of direction. I am a complete moron!” Besides, most dogs don’t know the first thing about using a GPS.

DNA test kit – The perfect gift for the mutt who’s sick of being called a “lab mix” or worse yet, “Heinz 57.” The test comes in two versions: A do-it-yourself cheek swab, which is less expensive and fairly accurate. Or a more accurate and pricey version, which involves a blood test. And isn’t a visit to the vet to get a blood test just what every dog wants for Christmas?
Dog painting kit — No, you do not paint your dog with this. Your dog paints masterpieces! As you could see from a high-strung canine artist who appeared on The Tonight Show the other night, every dog has an inner artist, and if his inner artist has a marketing genius for an owner, the inner artist will make the owner a lot of money.
Beer opener collar – Because nothing says “My owner is an idiot” better than being forced to wear a collar with its very own beer bottle opener. They come in two varieties. One is a little more classy, if you can say such a think about a beer bottle opener collar.
The other is, well, just watch this video for Bark 4 Beer collars.
Goggles – What dog wouldn’t want to look fashion forward and protect her vision from those nasty UV rays at the same time? Sunglasses fall off, but goggles don’t. (Sorry dogs…) There are likely about six dogs on earth who would consent to wear these things, including the poor dear above, but you have to give the company credit for trying.

Chewy shoe toy – Because nothing sends mixed messages about eating footwear like giving your dog a rubber sole to gnaw.
Chewy bra toy – Ditto, only in the underwear department. And this comes with two squeakers.
Dog armoire – The perfect gift for the wee dog who’s getting tired of picking out her fashion choices from a heap on the floor.

Talking treat ball – The idea behind the Talk to Me Treat Ball is that you record your voice in the ball, and when your dog noses the ball around to seek out the hidden treats, your voice is activated, bringing comfort and joy. Some dogs may indeed like this, but it might freak out other dogs who wonder how to get their suddenly shrunken person out of the rolling ball before the treats crush them.
** A special thanks to Maria Goodavage of Dogster.com for this story**